In part one I recounted the basics of my sexualised life as a mixture of urgent need and particular sexual tastes.
In this second blog post I need to concentrate on how I have been able to control and live with this situation in recent years at least!
This is because for the first time in my life I have found an outlet for my sexual energies which allows me to keep the cravings at bay and function without the cravings dominating my life and relationships.
The answer has been my art, specifically my erotic art.
Since the early 2000s I have been creating digital erotic art and have discovered that if I pour all my sexual drives and fantasies into this art, the constant cravings become muted and I can, for the first time in my adult life, function in society as a relatively normal guy, without the need to view female company, or images of the female form as an urgent turn on.
It was a revelation to me as this process unfolded. It soon became apparent that there is, in fact, a higher and more powerful drive, or at least equally powerful drive, in me than my sexual cravings and my drive as an artist!
As my erotic art has developed and deepened, with a recent move to cross dressing as performance art, I have been able to more-or-less completely divert my sexual energy into celebrating the female form in erotic lingerie and bondage.
This does not mean that it is totally under control, of course. But it does mean that I am not driven by my sexual desires in the way I was before. I still seek sexual relationships with submissive women if they approach me, but I no longer allow my sexual self to dominate my mind in the way it did in the past.
As such my art has allowed me the most joyous period of my adult life, in which I am no longer under the control of my libedo most of the time! My art also brings great pleasure to others and to me it brings relief and an inner calmness that I have never known before.
And it has also deepened my self-knowledge, allowing me to see the reasons I became on thrall to my sexual drives and how they came close to destroying my life at times.
In my next blog post I will say more about art as a form of sexual therapy as I experience it and how the dangers of balancng multiple relationships added to the attractions.
Erotic English Guy